Skeletons

I opened my closet door and showed her my skeletons well, only one the rest are too heavy but maybe someday I will gain the strength maybe it would be easier if I left that life behind me the tension between us is taut like a wire between the twin towers hopefully my walls will fall or else she'll fall off maybe i should just get it over with to minimize the pain but I feel like the pain will be great no matter what help me! the door is stuck I want to rip the cast off but the lock is jammed I need a locksmith or a doctor or a lockpick this is painful in itself so with great effort, bravery, and impulse i showed her and it went really well! not sure the proportion of those emotions, though so she's a girlfriend now but how long will this last? so, an update: not very long… why does she keep changing her mind? I'm so fucking pissed which one was it? oh that one? it wasn't even that fucking gnarly I was an open book but you closed me before even getting to chapter two you said we could remain friends but I'm not sure either of us wanted to and then you changed your mind as y'all so often did and then you got me banned again but it stings this time because i didn't mean to be that person anymore I want to put them back and close the door and lock it and throw away the key like a chastity key tossed into an ocean of blood but that's not healthy then again, nor is hiding

so I did it again why the fuck did I do it again? and now little things remind me of you my bed (I'm sleeping in the living room now) the gum you gave me the booth we shared at that restaurant there's no real point to this I just wanted to say I miss you or maybe that is the point that I'm not learning from my mistakes but are they really mistakes? only time will tell